Customer: My door doesn’t work.
Support Tech: Have you tried opening the door and closing it?
Customer: How do I do that?
Support Tech: Just push open the door.
Customer: It won’t open when I do that. Maybe it’s locked?
Support Tech: Perhaps, but first, can you try turning the handle for me?
Customer: The what?
Support Tech: The handle.
Customer: Where would I find that?
Support Tech: About halfway down the door, on either the far left or right side. It will be a metal knob.
Customer: Oh, you mean the knob! Ok, I turned it.
Support Tech: Now push open the door.
Customer: It still won’t open.
Support Tech: Are you perhaps on the side of the door where you need to pull?
Customer: No, I’m on the same side that you showed me to push on. I think the door is locked.
Support Tech: Has the part of the handle that you turn to lock it been turned?
Customer: No. Ok, I just turned it.
Support Tech: Alright, now turn the handle.
Customer: The handle won’t turn now.
Support Tech: Ok, I think you just locked it. Now unlock it.
Customer: How do I unlock it?
Support Tech: The same way you locked it, just turn the lock the other way.
Customer: I still can’t open the door.
Support Tech: One second…
*minutes of silence*
Support Tech: Alright, turn the handle on the door.
Customer: I alrady tried that.
Support Tech: No, turn the handle on the door, and while it’s turned, push the door open.
Customer: Why do I need to keep the handle turned?
Support Tech: So that the door will open. Can you try it for me?
Customer: Ok.
*Customer opens the door*
Customer: It worked.
Support Tech: Glad to hear it. Make sure when you’re opening your door that you keep the handle turned.
Customer: Why does there need to be a handle? Why can’t I just push on the door and have it open?
Support Tech: Because it keeps the door from opening too easily.
Customer: Why would you want to make your doors harder to use?
Support Tech: It’s not about making them harder to use-
Customer: I’ve used doors that didn’t need handles. Your doors are obviously inferior.
Support Tech: Well, I’m sorry to hear that. If you have any additional problems, please don’t hesitate to give us another call. Have a great day!
*Support Tech hangs up*
Support Tech: Idiot…